Consider very carefully any
inclination to take your loved one out of their familiar surroundings during
the holidays. While it is not always a
problem, it can be. Families are tempted
to take their loved one home for a holiday party or dinner. Others may want to take them to a holiday
show or out to see the holiday lights.
Many times this change in their usual environment, away from the
familiar surroundings and the people that they are comfortable with can cause
great distress for them. Rev. Bob Davis
who is in the early stages of Alzheimer’s disease wrote in his book My Journey into Alzheimer’s Disease the
following about different surroundings.
“Leaving the routine of being around my familiar home, having more
people and excitement around than I am accustomed to, varying my ritual for
taking care of my grooming and health care, being unable to lie down and nap at
my usual times, all brought me to a place of not being able to make the most
basic decisions for myself, not even how to relieve my discomfort.” Rev. Davis’ insights are not uncommon. You and your family may want to join in the
community's holiday party instead of risking bringing your loved one into an
unfamiliar environment.
Rev. Davis’ wife writes of her
journey with her husband, “live every day to the glory of God. Do every bit of good we can do for as long as
we can do it. We have prepared for the
worst and we are going to live expecting the best. If the worst comes we are ready for it. If it doesn’t, we will not have wasted today
worrying about it.”
Here are some great holiday gift
ideas:
·
Easy to remove clothing
·
Old time musical tapes: Lawrence Welk, Big
Bands, Kate Smith
·
Home video of family members
·
Videos of “I Love Lucy” or “The Honeymooners”
·
Photo Albums
·
Socks
·
Tote and handbags
·
Scarves
·
Magazine subscriptions: National Geographic,
Life
·
Puzzles with large pieces
·
Memory Wallets: include copies of driver’s
license, photos, union cards, library cards
·
Family photos in unbreakable frames.
You and your family may want
to join in the Potomac Home’s holiday party instead of risking bringing your
loved one into an unfamiliar environment.”
Alzheimer’s and the Holidays
The holidays are upon us, it
should be a joyous wonderful time of the year for you, but without careful
planning and consideration this potential blessing may become a
catastrophe. There is much that you can
do to avoid the problems. We have put
together some suggestions to help you cope with Alzheimer’s and the Holidays.
First and most important, TAKE
CARE OF YOURSELF! If you don’t take care
of yourself at this stressful time both you and your loved one with Alzheimer’s
may suffer. If you are tired, frustrated,
without patience, become ill, who will be there for your loved one? How do you take care of yourself during this
incredibly busy time?
·
Join a support group. These groups vary so you may want to try out
different groups. Some people like
groups that are more educational and offer practical suggestions; others may
want a group that encourages more emotion, venting and sharing. You can find a group that will support you in
the way that best fits your need or personality.
·
Ask for help.
Research shows that families of Alzheimer’s loved one’s are reluctant to
ask for or help or use help, often using less help than professionals would
recommend and using the help too late in the course of the illness to offer
much help. Even though you have placed
your loved one in Potomac, you are still carrying a heavy burden. Let people help. Maybe they can pick up something on your
shopping list. Maybe they can sit with
your loved one while you shop or get your hair done. Have them bring a
meal. Ask them to sit with your loved
one so that you can miss a visit and tend to
some of the issues of the holidays and not feel guilty.
·
Adjust your expectations. Remember that elaborate attempts to recreate
past holiday traditions and have the same festive meaningful time as last year;
is almost certainly not realistic.
Alzheimer’s Disease is progressive and it is likely that your loved one
will remember less this year, will be less able to tolerate holiday excitement
and stimulation and will appreciate less.
As time passes it becomes increasingly likely that the stimulation of
holiday hustle and bustle, decorations, music and other holiday issues will
cause anxiousness, withdrawal or even difficult behaviors. People with Alzheimer’s disease need
simplicity and routine.
·
Give yourself permission to do only what you can
reasonably manage even though this may be significantly less than in other
years. Offer to make a dish for the
holiday meal but not to host it.
·
Remember that you don’t have to have long visits
with your loved one. We know that people
with Alzheimer’s disease have limited
attention spans and difficulty focusing.
Often they cannot sustain a long visit.
Short and regular visits may be best for both you and your loved one.
·
Prepare visitors. Many of your extended family and friends do
not have your experience and insight into this disease and the current
condition of your loved one. Tell them
how he or she has changed and what to expect when they visit. Some families have even written letters to
friends and family to tell them how
things have changed in the last year and give suggestions on how to visit
successfully.
